Sunday 23rd November – I woke up in my bunk in the exact same position I’d collapsed into it in about twelve hours earlier.
Three puffs on that dodgy ciggie and I’d been ready to puke. I’d staggered into bed in a cold sweat and spent most of the night staring at the wire mesh mattress support of the bunk above me, unable to move and convinced that Tetris blocks were lowering themselves towards my face. Terrifying. I can still hear the music now. When I finally emerged from my amateur drug-den at around midday, I found my favourite Scot waiting for me out on the beanbags.
“I g-g-gotta joke for yoo.” (I still can’t do the accent.) “H-h-how did Jesus m-m-ake tea?”
I shrugged. I felt awful and couldn’t bring myself to care.
“He-hebrews it.”
With a grin that was infectious, he handed me a cup of tea that he’d made especially. It was cold as he’d been waiting for me for hours.
“Not that I’m saying I’m-m Jesus!” he suddenly panicked.
As a thank you for yesterday’s heart-to-heart he wanted to make me breakfast. I refrained from pointing out it was lunchtime.
“I kin only c-c-coook p-p-pancakes, thoo.”
His p-p-pancakes were minging, but I ate them anyway because no one has ever cooked for me before other than mum, and Dad’s microwave. It was sweet of him, but the same couldn’t be said for the pancakes as I think he’d used salt instead of sugar.
An hour later, we were squeezed into another dark corner, only this time we were looking at Sydney apartments on his iPad. No, we’re not planning on moving in together, that would be a bit quick even for me (and he wasn’t interested cos I asked), rather he was helping me figure out where the girls and I can go after Melbourne. If I leave it up to them we’d probably never leave the room, let alone the city. We studied a map of Australia. To the west was Adelaide, and we could travel the southern coast until we reached Perth. Alice Springs was north of here, kinda, in the centre of the country surrounded by desert, with Darwin further up. South, we could cross the water and do Tasmania. Hell, there was nothing stopping us even visiting the Hobbits in New Zealand. Or we could go east, where we’d hit Canberra and Sydney, before travelling up the coast to Queensland.
“Hmm… Queens Land. That sounds like somewhere we’d both fit in,” I laughed. I tried to ignore how uncomfortable Hamish looked after that.
As we looked for ‘Things To Do In Sydney’, our hands brushed against each other just as an advert popped up for the mardi-gras. It showed two topless hunks and a lezzer apparently having an orgasm whilst sharing a rainbow hula-hoop. Hamish did a nervous gulp, turned the tablet off and got up to go. Then he paused.
“Um… I’m goin-n-ng to the cinema later. Wanna c-c-come?” he almost whispered.
“Ooh, do you mean a date?” I waggled my eyebrows suggestively. “Back row I hope. I’m up for that!”
He kinda went a bit green.
9.15pm
That g-g-git only went and brought his friends with him to the movies! He’d turned up closely flanked by Irish Karen and a northern lass called Nina (who I have imaginatively named Northern Nina). At first I’d hoped it was going to be a double date, as Karen has more than a whiff of mannish about her and is partial to a denim-dungaree, but she pulled me aside and made things clear almost immediately.
“We’re here ta watch you, English,” she hissed. “He’s confused and vulnerable roight now, so don’t be takin advantage. To be sure to be sure.” (I can’t do her accent either.)
Fortunately, it doesn’t take a great deal to give me a thrill nowadays, and so when Hamish slipped his hand into mine under the safety of darkness I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt as excited. My heart was pounding like a twelve year old girl’s at a One Direction concert (pre Zayn’s departure, obvs) and I barely even noticed the film. People cheered at the end, but it might’ve just been because it was over. Aussies seem to be quite vocal in the cinema. I hate that.
I’ve popped back to my room to ‘freshen up’ (AKA change my undies, just in case) and have found Bev and Rachel asleep in their bunks wearing yesterday’s clothes. I don’t know where they’ve been or when they got back, but I do know one thing. I might as well be doing this flipping trip on my own.
Now I’m back off out to meet Hamish in the bar next-door where Nina works. OK, so it’s still semi-chaperoned, but I’m hoping it’ll lead to my first ever lock-in and a happy ending to boot. Maybe I’ll get drunk enough to think getting naked in front of someone else is a good thing, and maybe he’ll get drunk enough to let me!
3.25am
Just back from drinkies. Bit tiddled. Promising start cos he kept his hand on my knee for like the whole time, but when I walked him back to his room he shut the door in my face. Not so much as even a peck on the penis! But after multiple middies and a schooner or two, the hoped for lock-in and even a couple of freebies, I’ve officially upgraded him from cugly to full-on cute. He is so adorable, and he kinda makes my heart ache as well as my balls.
Niiiiiggght!
