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“Not Like Us”: The Leadership Playbook for Women Who Lead Differently

Leadership is not one-size-fits-all. Each leader brings their own unique style to the table. Embracing these differences can redefine what success looks like. Authenticity and strength are key components in this journey.

by Sara Yahia
0 comments 5 minutes read

Every February, millions tune in to watch the Super Bowl, an event that transcends sports and becomes a cultural phenomenon. But beyond the game, the halftime show is just as significant—it’s meant to celebrate diversity and inclusion, yet it often reflects the opposite.

When Kendrick Lamar performed, he was expected to represent the Black community, but only within certain limits—loud enough for visibility, yet controlled enough to be palatable. The same restrictive playbook applies to women in leadership. They are given a spotlight, but only in appearance, and kept on a short leash so as not to disrupt the status quo.

The Corporate Illusion of Inclusion

Just like the entertainment industry, corporate America claims to embrace diversity, but often only in ways that are comfortable and non-threatening to those in power. Women are allowed to rise, only if they don’t challenge the system too much. They are expected to lead with a measured, controlled presence, not disruptively, not “too loud.”

Despite decades of progress, the reality remains: leadership structures are still built around traditional masculine ideals, leaving little room for different leadership styles. Women in the workplace are often labeled as “too emotional,” “too soft,” or even “too aggressive” when they attempt to claim authority. This contradiction forces many women into a constant balancing act, trying to be authoritative without being seen as domineering, and warm without being perceived as weak.

Human Resources Leveling the Playing Field or Upholding the Status Quo?

Human Resources is often framed as the department that ensures fairness, yet in reality, it frequently reinforces the existing power structures. Companies preach diversity but fail to back it with real opportunities. Much like the halftime show, where representation is carefully curated, corporate leadership selects “acceptable” women: those who fit the mold, don’t push too hard, and won’t make waves.

Even when companies introduce policies to support gender diversity, the results are often superficial. Quotas and initiatives look good on paper, but they rarely dismantle the underlying biases preventing women from thriving. HR departments might bring women into leadership meetings, but are they truly being heard? Are they given the authority to make significant decisions, or are they just there for optics?

The Trap of Masculine Leadership: Why Women Shouldn’t Lose Themselves

There’s a growing pressure on women to lead like men—to be assertive, aggressive, and unemotional to be taken seriously. Some leaders openly dismiss feminine leadership styles, insisting that success requires a “strong hand” or a “commanding presence.” But this mindset is outdated and damaging.

Women who adopt an overly masculine leadership style often find themselves burnt out, disconnected, and struggling in their personal lives. Suppressing emotional intelligence, empathy, and authenticity leads to unhappiness and diminishes the unique strengths that make women exceptional leaders. True leadership isn’t about mimicking someone else but embracing who you are.

Research supports this: companies with emotionally intelligent leaders tend to have stronger employee engagement, higher productivity, and better retention. The future of leadership isn’t about eliminating feminine qualities—it’s about embracing a balance of strengths that create healthier, more effective workplaces.

“They Are Not Like Us”: Women Navigating a Different Game

Kendrick Lamar’s performance challenged the illusion of inclusion. Similarly, women in the workplace are often reminded—subtly or overtly—that they are “not like” their male colleagues when it comes to leadership opportunities, pay equity, and career advancement. The statistics prove it: despite record numbers of women in the workforce, leadership remains overwhelmingly male.

Women who speak up about these inequities are often dismissed as difficult or “not team players.” Meanwhile, men who exhibit the same assertiveness are seen as confident leaders. The double standard is exhausting, and many women find themselves walking on eggshells to avoid being penalized for behaviors that are celebrated in men.

From Tokenism to True Change: Moving Beyond Performative Inclusion

Every year, major companies put women in leadership positions to showcase diversity, but how many of those women truly have decision-making power? How many are given real authority versus just a title? The same applies to HR policies that sound progressive but fail to translate into real change.

This tokenism is a significant problem in corporate culture. Women in leadership should not be symbolic figures used for PR purposes. True inclusion means empowering women to lead authentically, to be innovative, and to challenge outdated systems. It means dismantling the barriers that have kept women from rising—not just giving them a seat at the table but making sure they actually have a voice.

Rewriting the Playbook: Women don’t need empty gestures; they need real opportunities, fair pay, and leadership roles that aren’t just for show. Like the halftime show, corporate America’s version of inclusion is often performative. But real change will only happen when women are empowered to lead without restrictions—without being expected to fit a mold that makes others comfortable.

We need workplaces where women don’t have to choose between authenticity and success. Where emotional intelligence is seen as a strength, not a liability. Where leadership isn’t defined by outdated masculine ideals but by competence, vision, and the ability to inspire others.

The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you truly are.— Viola Davis. Women don’t need to become someone else to lead. The real victory is embracing who we are—without waiting for permission.

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