When you start your journey with a foster child, the one thing that remains of utmost importance is creating a safe space for them to thrive.
This will take time, but it can be done. Foster carers must strive to adapt and remain flexible while building the foundations of security for any child that comes into their life, and it is a factor that all people walking this path have to think about carefully. How can it be done? Read on below to find out.
Make Their Bedroom a Haven
Where is the one space all children go when they are feeling cross, sad, tired, or even excited? It’s their bedroom. A foster child that lives with you will feel naturally wary of any new room they are assigned because it takes time to establish comfort and trust. However, you can help by ensuring this bedroom is a haven. Make it clean, organized, neutral, and filled with anything they could possibly need. Never be afraid to let them claim ownership and make the space their own, because this is a great way to build their safety net.
Keep On Learning
It is no secret that a foster carer must always be open to new information and lessons. This will all become clear within the first few minutes of meeting your social worker. Private agencies like fosteringpeople.co.uk provide ongoing training support for carers, some of which is mandatory and some of which is optional. Opt for whatever training you can access because the more knowledge you have, the better you can respond and adapt to the foster child’s needs.
Be Consistent
Being consistent doesn’t come naturally, however, there is value in it for this context. Children entering the foster care arena will be on high alert, and this is completely normal. Your role will be to show up, do what you say you’re going to do, and scaffold their development. Avoid unpredictable surprises, and never put them in a situation that they are not prepared for.
Don’t Create Conflict
Conflict is a natural part of parenting, regardless of whether you are a foster carer, birth parent, or anything else in this remit. You will face it, and how you respond will dictate the child’s resilience, responses, and the way they are able to build trust in their relationships. It is essential that you remain neutral, avoid pushing buttons, and aim for forward movement as opposed to staying still in a difficult conversation. There is always a way forward, it is simply your job to find the safest one.
Establish Boundaries
A big part of this will depend on how and when you establish boundaries. Boundaries are things like ‘ground rules’ and household expectations that are applicable to everyone living in the home. They are an extremely useful tool and will enable a child to feel scaffolded, supported, and looked after properly. It is how children learn to develop self-control, a sense of self, and healthy connections.
Creating a safe space for looked after children depends entirely on your actions. What you do directly impacts their growth and their view of the world. Get it right, and safety will grow organically.
