Not many of us are blessed with a high level of self-confidence, though even when we do feel good about ourselves, there may be certain confidence zappers that derail the way we feel about ourselves. What do we mean by ‘confidence zappers?’ You can probably list a few of your own today, especially if something has knocked the way you feel, but here is a list of some of the more common factors that can hinder the self-esteem in many of us. How many relate to your life?
Confidence Zapper #1: Social media
We aren’t saying social media is a bad thing; there are benefits. However, because many of us measure our self-worth on how many likes our posts have received, or how many people we have on our friends’ list, we can also lose confidence because of our social media obsession. Our advice is this: if social media rules your thinking and your self-esteem, take some time away from it. Your life outside of the virtual world is what matters, so connect with real friends on a face-to-face level, and seek approval for the good things you do in your life. These things will boost your self-esteem, whereas bemoaning the fact that you don’t have over 1000 followers, and getting paranoid because nobody has liked your latest post will only scupper the way you feel if you are becoming overly obsessed.
Confidence Zapper #2: Body weight
When you can’t fit into that dress anymore, or when you compare yourself unfavourably to catwalk models and skinny celebs, your self-esteem can take a knock. In some cases, you should do something about your body weight, especially if your health is at risk. Doing more exercise and altering your diet may be two of the steps you need to take to improve your confidence. However, don’t be too hard on yourself. There is no ‘perfect’ body shape, so don’t fall into the trap of thinking you don’t look beautiful enough. Unflattering comparisons to others will often get you nowhere, so do what you can to improve yourself if you need to, but do it for yourself, and not because you want to conform to societal expectations.
Confidence Zapper #3: Wearing sensory aids
And by sensory aids, we are of course talking about those things that improve your sight or hearing. While these things may be necessary for you, they might also affect your confidence. Wearing spectacles and hearing aids can affect the way we look, so if our self-esteem is based on our appearance, we can lose confidence when out in public. Thankfully, this is something that can be alleviated. Wearing glasses is actually fashionable these days, so you shouldn’t let them affect you. But if they do, for whatever reason, you might then opt for contact lenses instead. And where your hearing is concerned, it is now possible to buy hearing aids and personal sound amplifiers that are near-invisible to the naked eye, so talk to your hearing specialist to find out more.
Confidence Zapper #4: So-called friends
We all need good friends in our lives; those people who lift us up, encourage us, and make us feel happy. However, if your friends put you down more than they lift you up, criticize you more than encourage you, and make you feel angry or sad rather than happy and elated, then you might want to question the validity of these friendships. If they are bad for your self-esteem, let them know why. They might apologise for their behaviour, and be a better friend to you down the line. On the other hand, if they continue to hurt your feelings, it might be time to ditch them. Make the effort to meet new people, and form friendships with those people who actually make you feel good about yourself.
Confidence Zapper #5: Personal fears
Fear isn’t always a bad thing; it can stop us from doing something stupid. However, you may have fears that are inhibiting your life, and this might consequently affect your self-esteem. If you are afraid to meet new people, for example, or if you are afraid to do what is needed to achieve your career goals, your fears are standing in the way of those things that might actively boost your confidence. You might also lose confidence because of your reluctance to face your fears, as you will only feel inadequate as a consequence. If this is you, consider the advice here. Overcoming our personal fears isn’t always easy, but to move on in life, and to gain more confidence, we do need to find ways to overcome them.
Finally
So, what do you think? If you have related to any of the confidence zappers we have suggested, we hope our advice was helpful to you. And if anything else is zapping your confidence, then find out what you need to do to counter the negative feelings that come with them. As we said at the beginning, we aren’t always blessed with high levels of self-confidence, but we can still take steps to balance the way we feel to live a better and more productive life.
Let us know what you think.
