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When Being Yourself Is Not Enough By Christopher Stone

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“To thine own self-be true.” In most instances, this Shakespearean quote from Hamlet is rock solid advice – a design for honest, successful living. But, sexually speaking, when it’s time to shake things up, spicing up a sex life that has stalled, then simply acting like yourself may leave something to be desired.

At such times, being someone, or something, other than yourself can be the ticket to ride, bringing freshness, originality, and variety to your sexual hijinks.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and all combinations thereof, I give you sexual role-playing.

Sociologists insist that the art of role-playing originated, not in the sexual arena, but with psychotherapy, as a safe and effective method of overcoming the fears and inhibitions one has when confronted with a difficult social task, such as accepting an award for a job well done, or maybe, for introducing the company president to an audience of hundreds. They may be correct.

Even so, ever since its origination as a sociological therapy, the uses to which role-playing has been put, have diversified greatly.

One hundred years ago, psychiatrist Jacob Moreno successfully treated patients by having them act out, or role-play, their emotional problems. In doing so, Moreno’s patients became a character in order to heal their mental disorders.

Over the last century, psychiatrists, psychologists, and other mental health professionals, have expanded upon Moreno’s seminal work, treating a wide variety of mental disorders with various methods of acting out.

By World War II businessmen, including, advertising executives, salespeople, and even financial advisors, had adapted role-playing as an effective, safe way to increase success. Through the acting-out of a wide variety of scenarios, savvy business people practiced and pitched, prepared, wheel and dealed, without risking any real life consequences.

So it was only a matter of time before role-playing became even more widespread, entering the sexual arena, both for heterosexuals and in the fertilely imaginative LGBT Community.

These days, society at large has long since discovered how satisfying it can be to simply act out sexual fantasies without any of the pesky consequences of real life actions. For decades now, sexual role-playing has been used as an effective, safe method of conquering sexual fears and inhibitions.

But we’re not addressing progressive therapies for eliminating sexual fears and inhibitions. Instead, we’re in the fast lane to Fantasyland.

Do you have a fantasy about being seduced by a handsome doctor – the one who looks like the love child of Zac Efron and Ryan Gosling? In the process of fulfilling this fantasy, please don’t cheat on your lover or spouse with a sexy medic, endangering a relationship that you value.

Patient/doctor is among the most popular role-playing fantasies.
Patient/doctor is among the most popular role-playing fantasies.

Instead, why not simply pretend to be a medical patient in need? Ask your lover/spouse to don a white doctor’s smock and other medical paraphernalia, and assume a seductive state of mind. Let him or her assume the role of that hunky health care worker you desire – the one who seduces you en route to a medical diagnosis. Thusly a fantasy can be played out without any harm to your relationship.

Of course, patient/doctor/nurse is not everyone’s spoonful of role-playing sugar. When acting out with a sexual partner, you may prefer one or more of the following, popular role-playing combinations:  boss/employee, student/teacher/principal/dean, athlete/coach, or even the more kinky prison guard/inmate, rapist/victim, or father/son, brother/twin, or even stepsiblings.  The choice is your own; so please act out whatever role-play fantasies ring your sexual chimes.

In these sexual acting’s out, you are limited only by your acting chops, your imagination, and your willingness to be sexually playful.

I have never heard, seen, or read, about any harm effects resulting from role playing, though some claim that a steady diet of acting out may lead to the inability to climax without entering into a role playing scenario.  To such people, I caution, in all things moderation, including sexual role-playing.

Save the acting out for special occasions; make role-playing the exciting exception, and not the regular routine, for your sex life.

Stepbrothers is a highly popular role-playing scenario for gay couples.
Stepbrothers is a highly popular role-playing scenario for gay couples.

Some couples go to elaborate lengths when sexually acting out, adding sets and props, as well as costumes to the fun. Others go further still, writing a script for their role-playing – one complete with dialogue and stage directions.

Or, as a doctor/patient role player might put it: “Miss Blake, please send in my next patient.”

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