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Red Tape and Heartache

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Introducing the lovely J T Cheyanne and V L Moon. They are friends, fellow authors and a couple who have overcome more than one tough obstacle course on the path to love and being together.

 

They are married but live an ocean apart. They share their frustrations and their outlook in this article and I have to say my heart weeps just a little knowing they are so far apart yet manage to keep their love for each other intact.

These two wonderful ladies share a love of vampires, sexy gay romances, red wine, own their own publishing company and have written a number of books together.

They rock. This is their story…

Red Tape and Heartache

V. L. Moon

I have to admit to a certain amount of fear and excitement when our lovely friend, Susan Mac Nicol, asked us to do an article for Divine Magazine. Then came the OMGs. What are we going to write? Followed by an awful amount of eek’s and unpublishable four letter words. Talk about nervous.

What do you put into an article? How do you write it and…OMG what if it’s no good and nobody likes it? So many questions; however, write what you feel and see where it goes seems to be the most popular advice given. I have to say, it does seem to make more sense than trying to plan out what J.T. or I have to say which is how we usually work and up to now our way of working and writing together hasn’t deterred us from producing, to date, eight solo/co-written books.

Not that it’s easy. Far from it. Even now, as I write this, my chest is aching and my feelings are hurt. Why? Simply because while J.T. and I strive to write, we are constantly at odds with our emotions and miss each other terribly. Never mind the fact that we fight like cat and dog and fail to agree on anything other than the stories we write.

So why do we carry on? I can hear the multitudes of people all asking the same question. That’s the easy part. Because even though we argue and fight and constantly disagree, we are in fact married to each other and do love each other very much. And there, in that detrimental one word lies the crux of our problem. You see, while most couples find solace in the fact that they get to kiss and make up, have the hot and horny make up sex that puts their worlds back to rights, J.T. and I can’t.

Why? Because we happen to live on totally different continents. And, due to us each having our own personal responsibilities, it looks as though this is the way our life is going to be for at least the next year or so.

I can hear what you’re thinking, and believe me we have both heard it many times before. Just do it…move in together…decide…if you loved each other that much you’d be together by now.

Honestly, if it was that easy don’t you think we’d be together already? Neither of us is rich by any means, not that money should ever be an issue. Where our love is concerned it isn’t; however, when it comes to red tape and filling out the never ending amount of forms to apply for visas and applications (twice to date) money has to be addressed. Sad to say, it’s ugly world out there. One that I believe is made better when you find someone you love. So you can imagine the heartbreak on being told, not once, but twice that our visa had been denied. The toll and strain such decisions place on any relationship is hard, thus the reason for the ache in my chest. I’m not an overly emotional person, life has moulded me and helped to make me a little tougher over time, but I do feel, and I do hurt, just as I know J.T. hurts too.

Even as I’m writing this, J.T. and I are hardly speaking due to silly and exhausting misunderstandings only made worse due to the distance between us. At times such as these, we may as well be on different planets. Nothing eases the pain of missing the person you love, especially when it’s going to be at least another year before you see each other in the flesh. But love will suffice; it will have to, for now. So next time you have a tiff, or you loved one is driving you totally up the wall; think about how lucky you are to be there, together to see each other through the good times and the bad. I know I speak for myself and J.T. when I say we’d give anything to be able to do that too, especially since in the nearly six years we’ve been together we’ve both lost brothers and a parent and sad to say some much loved friends.

Thankfully, the friends we do have stick by us and show their true colors by supporting us at every hurdle. I’m so grateful and thankful to them. You guys have no clue as to just how much we love you, but we do.

I know some question us and our feelings, but when all is said and done, love is love, whatever the way in which you express it, or the shape or form it takes. No one person loves in the same way as another, and for me especially, I know my feelings to be real and just. Maybe I don’t say the words enough, maybe circumstance dictates that I can’t be there to shower J.T. in the love she so truly deserves, but love her I do, in MY own way, shape and form.

J T Cheyanne

Hello to you all and welcome to the chaos that is our lives. When Susan asked us to write for the magazine, we were both thrilled beyond belief. We’ve been published authors since 2011. This should be easy, or so we thought. Deciding on a topic was a major accomplishment and we finally went with Susan’s suggestion despite a rocky point in our relationship.

Reading the above was not easy for me. It’s bare to the bones honesty. She is hurting and it’s my fault. I was supposed to have been there a few weekends ago to attend a book signing with her. Unfortunately, due to major upheaval in my life, I was unable to afford the airfare to make it across the ocean. She was devastated and so was I. I live with the guilt of letting her down while knowing her pain is my fault. That kind of guilt breaks a person’s soul. She blames me and she has every right; yet, I could do nothing any differently and can do nothing to change the situation. All I can do is love her and pray she will one day forgive me.

She’s pretty much covered the red tape part. I’ve applied twice for a visa to live in the United Kingdom with her. Both applications were turned down and the main criteria we did not meet was monetary. It’s soul-shattering that money trumps love.

Yes, we fight, but it’s not all the time. Sometimes, it just seems that way. Distance is the major contributor to our problems. As she said, there is no way to comfort each other when feelings are hurt and angry words are thrown around. There is little intimacy when all you have to do to avoid each other is simply not turn on the computer or answer the phone. Typed words meant in jest may come across as sarcasm or spite. Inflection is hard to determine when there is no accompanying body language. If I’m sad or angry, I read more into what is there and more than what is meant, and that happens for both of us. It doesn’t help that our Skype doesn’t seem to cooperate with us on most days.

We do each love differently and we expect different things from our relationship. I’m balls to the wall, all in no matter what. She is reserved and careful. I accept the fights, the tears as part of the happiness of being with the person I love. I’m an optimist and God love her, she is definitely my opposite. But, as I tried to tell her just today, I would rather fight with her than love anyone else. She is my everything; the air that keeps me alive, the joy in my soul, the blood in my veins and the music in my heart. I know that overwhelms her at times. She doesn’t understand why I love her, or why I love her so much. I can’t explain it…I just do. Even as an author, words fail me. I love her. Plain, simple, honest.

Friends and family do play a large part in helping us traverse this angry sea of red tape and heartache. Their support and love gives me the strength to keep going when all I want to do is hide from the world and cry. My mom is no nonsense. I follow her example. I know what I want and I persevere. It may take me another year to get there, it may consist of more fights and aching loneliness but I will persevere because the end result is all that matters. Getting to her and living the life we dream about.

Do I get lonely and discouraged? Yes. Immensely. A lot of days I feel like I’m walking the world alone; that my wants and needs don’t matter to anyone. Tears threaten at every opportunity. I’ve hit rock bottom, bounced and hit it again even harder. But, I’m a fighter and it’s not in my nature to stay down and let the world kick me. I get up, brush myself off and enter the next round a little more battle weary, but still strong. Still a fighter.

Friends help ring the bell and start the next match. They wipe away the tears, mop up the blood and shove us back up on our feet. Thank you for everything and for your support and faith in our love.

I, too, would advise putting aside the day to day aggravations and simply love the person you have chosen. Forgive often and love deeply. Holding hands, sharing a meal, forgetting to walk the dog, the open tube of toothpaste on the sink, being late for work because the clothes weren’t ironed…simple things, things we can’t share at the moment…they make your life with the person you love. So walk the dog and smile, wear the wrinkled shirt and know when you go home that person will still be there waiting to hold your hand and have dinner. Love is Love and love conquers all. We will prevail. Even if my angel loses faith, I will hold onto it for both of us.

J. T. Cheyanne and V. L. Moon

http://www.lazandlachi.com

https://plus.google.com/+AlinaPopescu/posts/K7D79sD8ATj

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