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Losing Faith by Scotty Cade

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Hi All, Scotty Cade here. First, I’d like to thank Anders and the crew over at Divine Magazine for allowing me to spend a little time with you while I talk about my latest release, “Losing Faith,” coming on June 10th. This book is a very personal one to me as it was inspired by a true life incident which stayed with me for so long I just had to write the story if for no other reason than to get it out of my head and give it the happy ending it deserved.

I hope you enjoy hearing a little about it and discussing one of the topics affiliated with this book. I’m a guest on ten or so blogs so I’ll be covering a lot of information. If your interested in the others, you can find all the dates at Later in this post, you can read an excerpt and I’ll tell you how you can win a book of your choice from my backlist.

So without further delay, I have to start by telling you this story deals with religion, faith, and the power of our dreams. Now before you roll your eyes and move on to the next post, I want you to know I tried to handle the topics with all the dignity they deserved. Religion and faith are always tough topics because they are so personal to all of us and I did my best to be diplomatic, accurate and respectful. Dreams are a little easier, but can still be tricky. Many believe that dreams can be signs or visions about the future or the past. Some also think dreams are portals to another place and time, while others think dreams are just our subconscious mind at work while we sleep.

Today I’m going to talk about the different ways people interpret their dreams.

Dream interpretation is the process of assigning meaning to dreams. In many ancient societies, such as those of Egypt and Greece, dreaming was considered a supernatural communication or a means of divine intervention, whose message could be interpreted by people with certain powers.

In modern times, various schools of psychology and neurobiology have offered theories about the meaning and purpose of dreams. Most people currently appear to interpret dream content according to the Freudian theory of dreams, as found by a study conducted in the United States, India, and South Korea.

In this book, dreams play a very big part in Cullen letting go of Cole, his deceased husband and moving on with his life, no matter how hard he fights it. Cole does his best from the great beyond to guide Cullen into Able arms and be happy.

But I found it interesting that If you google the word “dreams” you will get millions of hits for websites devoted to dream interpretation. Are any of them worth a visit? Who knows? Why? Because there is no scientifically supported system of dream interpretation. Many believe what they believe and that’s where it starts and ends. While researching this book, I found many stories of people claiming that if they dream something, it will most definitely come true or stories of people who have communicated with their deceased loved ones in their dreams. Saw them. Talked to them and the one that touched me the most was a man who lost his wife and the very same night she came to him in a dream to let him know she was alright and where she needed to be and that they would be together again.

That dream hit a personal note for me because the day after my own mother passed away from colon cancer, she came to me in a dream. She was beautiful, pain free and gleefully happy. She smiled broadly and told me she was on her way and that we would all be together again someday. The dream eased my pain and helped me grieve properly, not for her, but for me.

But I also found that studies show that people appear to believe dreams are particularly meaningful: they assign more meaning to dreams than to similar waking thoughts. For example, people report they would be more likely to cancel a trip that involved a plane flight if they dreamt of their plane crashing the night before than if the Department of Homeland Security issued a Federal warning.

However, people do not attribute equal importance to all dreams. People appear to use motivated reasoning when interpreting their dreams. They are more likely to view dreams confirming their waking beliefs and desires to be more meaningful than dreams that contradict their waking beliefs and desires.

Sigmund Freud first argued that the motivation of all dream content is wish-fulfillment and that the instigation of a dream is often to be found in the events of the day preceding the dream, which he called the “day residue.”

So you see. There are many ways to interpret your dreams.

However, now that you’re read this post and will hopefully read the book, I hope whatever you believe, you’ll keep an open mind when you share Cullen, Cole and Abel’s journey toward finding happiness.

Now. If you read this blog posts and feel comfortable posting a response, I’d love to hear about any dreams you’ve had that have come true or any particular dream experiences you’ve had that have affected you in some way.

Everyone who posts will be entered into a drawing to win a book of their choice from my backlist, so please take a minute and share your story.

Now on to the excerpt. This excerpt deals with what we’ve been discussing today. I hope you enjoy.


Abel stood too. Cullen quickly looked the man over.

Abel was a few inches shorter then Cullen’s own six-foot-two-inch frame, and he appeared to be very fit. Gym-like fit. With broad shoulders and a small waist. The sun was reflecting off of his boyish reddish-blond locks, and his green eyes sparkled in the sun’s reflection off the water.

Apparently back in pastor mode, Abel flashed a smile, and Cullen swallowed a gasp. Abel’s entire face lit up. “Thanks for stopping. It was very kind and considerate of you.”

What a smile. If this is what he looks like while he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, he must light up the universe when he’s carefree.

Cullen cleared his throat. “No problem. Take care of yourself, Abel.”

Cullen turned to leave.

“Cullen?” Abel asked.

Cullen stopped and looked back at Abel.

“Are you by any chance a member of the clergy yourself?”

Shit! Good going, Cullen. Now how are you gonna get out of this one? You can’t lie to the guy.

Cullen sighed and accepted his fate. “Used to be. But it now seems like a lifetime ago. How could you tell?”

Abel smiled again, and Cullen felt a pang of something unidentifiable deep inside of him. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe your mannerisms. Your compassion for your fellow man. The way your voice reassures a person everything is gonna be okay. And… the fact that you said you were trained for this sort of thing. Separately these things mean nothing, but put them all together and you get a man of the cloth.”

Cullen was sincerely impressed. The man is a listener all right. Even when the person he’s listening to isn’t saying anything.

“The only thing I can’t pinpoint is which religion.”

Cullen chuckled. “I’m a retired Episcopal priest.”

“Damn.” Abel smiled, and then he blushed. “If I were a betting man—and for the record, I’m not—I would have gone with Methodist.”

Cullen found himself a little thrown off balance. He hadn’t talked about his past in quite a while. He knew he was bouncing nervously from one foot to the other, but he couldn’t help it. “Well, I think I need to let you get back to your one-on-one time with the big guy.”

Abel looked a little disappointed, but if he was, he didn’t voice it. He just held out his hand again. “You be safe and happy, Cullen Kiley. Wherever your path takes you.”

Cullen shook Abel’s hand and then impulsively laid his other hand over Abel’s heart. “And remember. Whatever you’re praying for, I know if you look deep enough in here, you’ll find all the right answers.”

Abel reached up and placed his hand over Cullen’s. “Thank you.”

Warmth ran through Cullen, and for a moment he felt almost alive—a feeling he hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

Abel lowered his hand, and a smile graced his lips. Cullen smiled as well. Something had passed between them just then. Something odd but also comforting.

“Take care.” Cullen took off running and didn’t stop. He had no idea what was propelling him or what he was running from, but by the time he got back to the boat, the lady in his phone said he’d run nearly eight miles. He sat in the cockpit totally exhausted and stared down at the sun shimmering on the water. Out of the blue, memories of his dream started coming back to him. In little pieces, at first, and then as one came to him, so did others.

It was a heavenly day. The sun was high in the bright blue sky, and the seas were calm. He and Cole were aboard T-Time, cruising the Atlantic Ocean. For some odd reason, Cole had gone down to the swim platform, and after a few minutes, he hadn’t returned. Cullen stopped the boat and went to check on him, and he was not there. Cullen ran below, calling Cole’s name frantically. But no one answered. Cullen looked out over the water, and in the distance he saw Cole fighting to stay afloat but drifting farther and farther away.

Cullen ran down to the swim platform, but Cole was too far away to toss him a life ring. With no other options, Cullen jumped in to save him. No matter how fast or far Cullen swam, Cole was always just out of reach, waving his hands and calling Cullen’s name.

Cullen turned to look for the boat, which was nowhere in sight. When he turned back, Cole was also gone. Cullen scanned the surface in every direction. Nothing. He frantically called Cole’s name, but no response came. After panicking and flailing in the water for who knows how long, Cullen was suddenly overcome with exhaustion. His arms and legs would no longer move, and he finally decided to give up. He cursed God, raised his arms into the air, and sank peacefully beneath the surface. As he calmly descended into the abyss, he cocked his head and watched the sun’s rays shimmer under the surface. He began to inwardly gasp for air, but of course there was none. His body bucked and heaved for the nonexistent air. When he could no longer hold his breath, Cullen closed his eyes and opened his mouth, inhaling as much salty seawater as he could get into his lungs. His body convulsed once, maybe twice, and then it was over.

Damn, Cullen! He wrapped his arms around himself and rubbed his forearms, suddenly bitterly cold.


Father Cullen Kiley, a gay Episcopal priest on hiatus from the church, decides to take his boat, T-Time, from Provincetown, Massachusetts, to Southport, North Carolina, a place that holds an abundance of bittersweet memories for him. While on a run his first day in Southport, Cullen comes upon a man sitting on a park bench staring out over the Cape Fear River with his Bible in hand. The man’s body language reeks of defeat and desperation, and unable to ignore his compassion for his fellow man, Cullen stops to offer a helping hand.

Southport Baptist Church’s Associate Pastor, Abel Weston, has a hard time managing his demons. When they get too overwhelming, he retreats to Southport’s Historic Riverwalk with his Bible in hand and stares out over the water, praying for help and guidance that never seem to come. But Abel soon discovers that help and guidance come in many forms.

An unexpected friendship develops between the two men, and as Cullen helps Abel begin to confront his doubts and fears, he comes face-to-face with his own reality, threatening both their futures.

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Scotty Cade left Corporate America and twenty-five years of Marketing and Public Relations behind to buy an Inn & Restaurant on the island of Martha’s Vineyard with his partner of over twenty years.   He started writing stories as soon as he could read, but just five years ago for publication.  When not at the Inn, you can find him on the bow of his boat writing gay romance novels with his Shetland sheepdog Mavis at his side.  Being from the south and a lover of commitment and fidelity, most of his characters find their way to long healthy relationships, however long it takes them to get there.  He believes that in the end, the boy should always get the boy.

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