10 Tips to Writing Great Sex By Laura Lascarso

One of the key components to any good erotic romance is the sex scene. The first draft of one of my earliest sex scenes was half a page long and I must admit, a little lackluster.
Then I did some reading in erotica—you know, research—where the sex scenes lasted 12+ pages, and it was all good. I realized I was rushing through my intimate moments and I had to force myself to slow down, take my time and really dig into the scene and all its many sensory details and emotional complexities.

I suppose you can say, I had to learn the hard way.

And now, here are some tips I’ve compiled on how to write great sex.

Author’s note: after writing these tips, I discovered the suggestions are not so different from having great sex, so do with that what you will.

  1. Set the mood: Whether it’s in a seedy back alley or the finest honeymoon suite money can buy, prepare the reader with some scene-setting details. Was the brick rough and cut into his hands as he braced himself against it? Were the sheets smooth as buttermilk against his sunburned skin? Was the alleyway lit in an oily yellow haze? Take us there.
  1. Explore all five senses. What is your partner wearing? What do they smell like? What sounds do they make when you tug at their hair or tongue their nipple? Does their skin color under your touch? Do they tremble with anticipation? Are their lips swollen from your kisses? No detail is too small.
  1. Make it good for them. It takes at least two to tango, so focus on the partner’s pleasure along with that of your main character. Do they seem to be enjoying themselves? How do you know? What are their “tells” that indicate your character’s doing a good job? How are they reacting to your character’s sexy midnight moves?
  1. It’s all about the foreplay. Nuff said.
  1. How emotionally invested are your characters? Even if they met five minutes ago, I want to know the stakes of this situation. Is your character worried they might never see this person again if it goes poorly? Worried that they will? Have they waited months to be together? Is this the last time they’ll be intimate before the lovers are parted? Increase the tension and conflict of the scene with some real consequences for your characters.
  1. Talk dirty. Talk is cheap, except in the bedroom. Get as wild and crazy as you want, or if it’s more befitting the character, perhaps a few chaste moans, but make sure you’re saying something to indicate how it’s going. Sex sounds are hot too, if words get in the way.
  1. It’s all about the verbs. Adjectives are important but the real payoff is in the verbs. What actions are your lovers taking with each other’s bodies? With their own? In a revision, take a close look at your verbs and look for ways to spice them up.
  1. Make it real, not perfect. Especially the first time with someone, it’s not usually without some hiccups or awkwardness. You went to rip the bodice and the ribbon got stuck on a hook or you meant to say, “it’ll be my pleasure,” and instead you say, “it’ll be my pressure.” Maybe the first sex position is awkward or uncomfortable and someone has to say something, and then it gets really good. If you start at the top, it’s hard to go up, but if you start somewhere in the middle, there’s room for the goodness to grow.
  1.  Was it good? Some amount of self-reflection for your character seems natural. In keeping with the theme of making it real, even sex gods have their doubts and insecurities, so do a bit of reflecting, maybe ask your partner how it was for them. Show a little humility.
  1. Post-coitus. Sex scenes, written well, should advance the plot and change the story for your characters. There should be consequences for taking this next step. Maybe one character just slept with their boss and now they’re worried it’s going to be awkward on Monday morning. Maybe it was a one-night stand and your character is debating on whether to leave his number. Maybe it’s your best friend and this is going to change everything. It’s natural for characters to wonder what tomorrow will bring and really adds to the tension of your romance when the scene ends on a note of uncertainty. Nothing says page turner like a sense of impending doom.

How about you? Got any pointers? Things that drive you crazy about sex scenes? Good, bad or ugly, let’s hear it!


When up-and-coming Miami painter Martin Fonseca encounters youthful pretty boy Andre Bellamy washing dishes in the kitchen of La Candela, he swears he’s known him before, intimately. But Andre only arrived in Miami weeks ago, after running away from small-town Alabama and his abusive father. When Martin discovers Andre trading sexual favors for a place to stay, he offers him a room in his studio apartment. As roommates only.

What starts as a playful friendship turns into something more as Andre begins posing for Martin, whose true passion is painting fantastical portraits. Martin’s obsession with Andre grows until they are sharing more than just flirtatious conversation. But when an eccentric art collector buys one of Martin’s paintings, Martin’s past jealousies resurface and threaten to destroy what he and Andre have so lovingly built.

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PublisherDreamspinner Press: November 16, 2016

Review by Truus Vermeer-de Jong

If I should describe this with one word….? WONDERFUL  I want to dance circles and sing and only whisper…….beautiful….beautiful …

Some books can touch my heart and make my cry…this one did…

It was from a artist pov definitely.

The sentences could be from a poet because my god the lines were beautiful. I was completely captivated by them.

Andre the dishwasher, young, flawless and beautiful. Martin is head over heels. Martin just six years older feels so more mature then twenty-four…..Andre is all Martin can think of and he is start painting him in all the thinkable ways. When Andre becomes his muse and much more they are happy.

Until they aren’t.

After a big contract it goes down hill. My heart cried. All the time it was to good to be true. You could feel it in the back of your head. Andre withdraw and Martin was stuck in his own head.

There is so much story but I just can’t give details because then I’ll give this wonderful story away.

Through the whole story you can feel there is so much more going on and when you find out…’s some kind of magic. Somehow I knew it, I could feel it in the air. Beautiful….

It was such a exceedingly read. It felt like a movie, the scenery the moves, the environments from all sides. Those places is where the magic is happening.

The characters were exquisite, their blossoming love. Their longing….the hurt….the way they move around each other….and the love making was a like a graceful dance. I felt it all deeply.

The way this was written was absolute superb poet. It was perfect !! Deep bow.

“The bird in my chest flapped its wings wildly, desperate to escape its anxiety-riddled cage. I felt like chunks of me were breaking off at every turn”



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Meet Laura Lascarso

Laura Lascarso

Laura Lascarso lives in North Florida with her darling husband, two children, and a menagerie of animals. Her debut novel, Counting Backwards (Simon & Schuster 2012) won the Florida Book Award gold medal for young adult literature. She aims to inspire more questions than answers in her fiction and believes in the power of stories to heal and transform a society.

For social critiques, writer puns, and Parks and Rec gifs, follow her on Twitter @lauralascarso



10 Tips to Writing Great Sex By Laura Lascarso
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